donderdag 30 december 2010

A new toy for mama

As some of you might know, I am taking photography classes. I really like it and it is hard some times. Having a good photography eye is not something to be learned overnight. Can I learn? Well, let me believe I can. Here is something I tried these past days. I bought some extra lenses that you can turn on your big lens to get even closer to the subject. I LOVE it already!


Picture with my normal lens
Sigma 18-200 mm

With macro lens

This is going to be so much fun! For now, I'll put away the camera and do some old fashioned house work. But I'll Be Back!

dinsdag 28 december 2010

zaterdag 25 december 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone

Merry Christmas my dear readers!

Today we had a good first Christmas day with family coming over for dinner. The sky was blue and now, as I am sitting here, writing, the snow comes falling from the sky again. It is so pretty! Adding to the pleasure is our warm house and cozy living room...I like winter, but I am not really into the cold that much.

These last days of the year also make me think of the year behind us. And man, what a year it has been! But even though I am looking back, I am more and more aware of how my heart attack has fueled some new things for the future. Nothing really dramatic, but I can tell there is something shifting inside. I can only feel it every now and then. When I am not too tired and not too afraid, or busy with trying new things, like working again.

I can tell that, after things get back to normal a bit, I have reached a new level. Not necessarily higher or lower, just a little different. I am way more aware of the fact that we have to live Now! That some people need (and let not spare myself: I need it too!) a kick in the butt sometimes! Good lord...all the worrying about all the little things...makes me impatient.
I can tell that I let the world hear my voice stronger than before. The people who know me, know that I am a bit introvert, sometimes a bit shy. These past weeks I found myself being a lot more assertive in stores for example. And the best part of it: without feeling too self-conscious or guilty of whatever. I feel like: who gives a &%$#!

Also I feel a lot less concerned about things needing to be a certain level. "Christmas dinner for 8 people?" "Let's keep it simple and easy". "Cleaning the house?" "A bit here and there will do!"
Perhaps it is because the articles and books about 'mindfulness' that I have been reading. Perhaps all the words are sinking into my subconscious and do some work there...I don't know. Fact is: I like life a lot better, living it the simple way.

That's also what this picture is about for me. I came upon this Maria statue on a cemetery here in my hometown. It reminds me of how we are all connected. I see a mother of ancient times and am reminded of the fact that there will be mothers in centuries to come. It is all about caring for each other, loving each other, loving life, living life, treasuring the small and the grant.

It tells me how we are all embedded in the great embrace of Being.

vrijdag 24 december 2010

vrijdag 17 december 2010

donderdag 16 december 2010

To do

Today, a picture. Not much inspiration to write, also because there is so much on my 'to-do' list. Would you like to know? Warning: it is pretty boring. But who knows? Publishing it might be enough to get myself going.

- Change the bed sheets, wash + dry
- Put away all clean clothes
- Organize closet in main bedroom
- Organize new bathroom cupboard
- Clean bathroom
- Organize closet Daughter 1
- Organize closet Daughter 2
- Get my brother a present
- Get the taxes done for Daughters daycare
- Think of Christmas menu
- And so on and so on......

I'll get back to you and let you know what I have finished.

woensdag 15 december 2010

Paris vs New York

These past weeks this site has been everywhere...I have seen it on so many websites. For those of you who haven't seen it: Check it out!!! I love all the art work on this site! They are so fun and clever. The artist comes up with new ideas very regularly, so it is worth visiting many times. Some of my favourites are (but I like all of them!):



dinsdag 14 december 2010

Amsterdam


Today, I went to Amsterdam all by myself, alone. I had been thinking about it for quiet some time, but always felt some fear. I still don't really like busy places like the train and the city itself is, although extremely beautiful, crowded.
But: I also wanted to buy us a Nativity Set. I had seen one years ago in the Abdij-store. This store is part of a monastery in Egmond which my mom and I wanted to visit for weeks. But our plan never really worked out due to all the snow we have had over here. So Amsterdam it was today.

How did I feel? Pretty good, as well as tired. I could barely imagine that I used to live in the city and liking/loving it. Nevertheless, I visited without much fear, without my hyperventilation. So I must say it was a pretty good trip!

The nativity set will be photographed later on.

zondag 12 december 2010

Sunday morning bliss


- Living room with Christmas tree
- Candles burning
- A nice cup of tea
- The rain against the windows
- A good book

- All by myself!!! :)

donderdag 9 december 2010

Weekly Menu # 2


Today was my grocery shopping day, no tompouce for myself this time, just didn't feel like it. Also because I have been a little ill with the flew the past couple of days. But as a reminder for myself and perhaps as some inspiration for my readers (Hi there!) I thought I'd write down another weekly menu. So here it is:

- Raw endive 'stampot' (my girls adore it!)
- Home made pizza
- Caprese salad with ?
- Spinach pie with goatcheese
- Cauliflower (I am going to search for a new recipe)

This doesn't make a full week, and I can make some more with the leftovers I have in the fridge. Sometimes I find it hard to come up with something nice to eat. And at the same time...I am not a real cook and I do try to bring some variations in our weekly menu, by switching between patatoes, pasta, rice and beans and couscous.

How do you deal with eating and having a busy life with jobs and perhaps children? I'd really like to know!

dinsdag 7 december 2010

Update on the medical story


December 8th: Let me give you an update on my life with an ICD. So far I am doing fine and besides the fatigue I am picking my life back up again. Slowly though, inch by inch, but it's like Confucius said: "A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step."

My ICD has been readout. Not much was found, although my heart rhythm is not always as it should be. Also the ventricles were not always at their best. So now I need to take a bit more medication. But over a time span of six weeks, my ICD registered something about ten times which is not bad. There have been three weeks were nothing was registered and everything was calm and quiet. We have also noticed that during stressful days my heart was more unstable than on calm days. So there must be some sort of relation between body and spirit.

The cardiologist said there is definitely a relationship, but it is not like: when you do yoga everyday you will never get an unstable heart. But relaxation and light exercise might give me a better feeling about myself and may help me to relax more often and be more aware of my body and my breathing.

They don't know yet what is the underlying reason for my heart attack. They are still thinking of the Long QT syndrome and they already know I don't have Long QT 2. At this moment they are checking out number 1 and number 3. All the others are probably not tested because they are super rare and also because other Long QT variations always come together with other physical failure. And so far I have been really healthy.

The rehabilitation doctor was very friendly and wanted to know how we are all coping with the recovery. A few weeks ago I was very down, almost depressed. I tried to deal with this by talking about it, writing about it in my journal and asking for help a lot more. This worked well and slowly this dark cloud started fading. The doctor was very encouraging, telling me that I am dealing with it in a very positive manner and telling me to go on, but take it slow.

Next week on Monday I am going to work for about two hours. Just once a week, to get started a bit. This scares me a bit, but it is also time for me to expand my world. Cuz sitting at home is also very safe. I am enjoying it immensely, but knowing about myself.....I need a kick in the butt sometimes! More about work in the coming weeks.

Blogging update at the hairdresser


December 7th: It is grey outside and foggy all over. I am warm and cozy with a Christmas tree in front me sitting at the hairdressers. Christmas? ....We just finished the Sinterklaas party here in Holland.

We were planning on celebrating Sinterklaas on saturday, but early in the morning it started snowing. I mean Snowing.... a good three inches in an hour or so. My brother was supposed to come over with his wife and son, but driving was getting impossible. So we changed our plans and celebrated Sinterklaas on Sunday. My four year old daughter, and firm believer of Sinterklaas, was totally fine with it. "Of course it is ok, there is too much snow for Sinterklaas to come over with all the presents!" Love that about children, they are so flexibel.

We had a nice and fun afternoon with lots and lots of presents which had to be opened as quickly as possible. She just couldn't wait to give the all the presents to everybody in the room. When we went home I asked her if she had a nice day: It was a super nice day!" "And did Sinterklaas get you nice presents?" "He gave me Super Nice presents!" She loved every minute of it!

By the way: this is the haircut I got! I always go for a 'bob' haircut. I goes well with my face, my very thick hair and the color. (My own!)

vrijdag 3 december 2010

Sinterklaas

Tomorrow, December 5th, is the real Sinterklaas day, but we celebrate his birthday today in the afternoon. It is one of my favorite holidays of the year, with Sinterklaas-songs, special food like Gevulde Speculaas and of course presents! I wonder what he will get me this year! I will let you know.

The one thing that hasn't worked out so well this year are the poems to join the presents. Previous years I loved writing poems for my family, but this year, I don't know if this is due to my accident, but my brain is not in the poetry mode. Oh well, I just let it go and try with fresh energy next year. But I do miss the thrill of finding the right words, the right twists, the right tone of voice. I just really like language, that's one of the reasons I like this blog.

P.s. I have been noticing that the dates on this blog are not always correct. As I post this, it is really December 4th!

donderdag 2 december 2010

Minimalism


I love those minimalistic, Japanese interiors. I also love Design Sponge, especially the 'sneak peaks' and the 'before and afters' they show on the site. So this week I was thrilled to see this lovely house of Yumiko Sekine. It is so natural, though not 'cold' at all. And I really like the color scheme and the feel of nature that this house breaths.

Like some of you might know we have a house that needed a total renovation and at the moment we are working on the bedroom. So far it still has unpainted walls and the carpet from the 70's.
I can't wait to make it 'ours', more modern, more Zen, more 'us'. Don't know if I can stick to the ultimate Zen bedroom like Sekine did, cuz I have this thing with color, but a mixture will work out well I guess. I am thinking about this wallpaper.

The lights for sure I am going to get at Kodama in Amsterdam.

Weekly morning routine


Now that I am home a lot more often I do all the groceries for the week ahead of us. I try to make some sort of weekly menu which saves me a lot of time and energy. We don't always stick to the menus, cuz I like being flexible when necessary.

This week we eat:

- Home made chicken soup
- Avocado/Potato/Rucola salad
- Chicory with ham and cheese and mashed potatoes
- Sprouts with home made meat balls
- Beets/Apple salad with fish
- Leek Pie with raisins and curry
- Stir fried vegetables with rice

Anyway: while doing the groceries I always go to the bakery and get a couple of loafs of bread. And one of these delicious 'tompouce' pastries. When I get home I make a latte to go with it and enjoy it in silence. Mmmm! Bon appetit!

woensdag 1 december 2010

Winter in Holland

Yep, my dear readers, this is what we call winter in Holland. Half an inch of snow and everybody is 'begeistert'. It's freezing about 7 degrees combined with a very strong wind from the east. This makes it feel like a good minus 15 outside. Brrr.... Time to stay inside as much as possible with latte and tea and 'speculaas'.

And this morning, after bringing my daughter to school, my hair was frozen! I guess there is a first time for everything.