Can any mother help me?

Just finished reading the book! In English the title is: 'Can any mother help me?', in Dutch it is 'Het geheime tijdschrift' (the secret magazine), which, honestly, I like better.

This book is a non-fiction book about a group of highly educated women in the 1920-1930 and later, who started writing to keep their intellect sharp and running and who were looking for some entertainment, to kill their loneliness. They all wrote articles that they sent to one person. That person made a nice cover and bound everything together and sent it to woman number 1. This woman commented on all the articles and then sent it to woman number 2 etc.
In their letters they shared whatever was important in their lives. Husband, kids, houses, the war, sexuality, the need for intellectual challenges etc.

I LOVED reading about their lives, about how different it all was back then. How difficult it must have been for them; to be bound at home after marriage, whereas they first roamed the streets of Oxford and Cambridge. In the book a lot of letters are published, together with short biographies about the lives of a lot of women. It makes me want more, because so many questions are left unanswered. Probably all women can fill a book with stories about their lives. But can't we all?.

I wonder why I love reading historical books, non-fiction books. Perhaps the answer is simple: because it makes me realize again that we are all the same in a way. Even though we live different lives in different eras and countries.
Reading this book helped me realize what a good live I can live these days. For example, in the book there is this woman who 'falls in love' with her doctor. The doctor then decides to talk to her husband, who doesn't sound like a warm and caring person (but of course we only read her side of the marriage), and this consultation leads her to get electroshocks, because 'there must be something wrong with her'. Like she is some hysterical creature or something. These days there is so much (too much?) attention for 'the inner person'. For this woman the year 2010 may have been a lot better.

But this also makes me think of this. Lets fast forward 75 years. My grandchildren will also think like: 'What?! Grandmother Marije didn't have this and this and this?! Unbelievable!' It is hard for me to really understand how, for example my grandmother lived, and it is hard (if not impossible) as well, to have a certain idea of how my grandchildren will live. I guess all of us, in the year 2010, just try to make it all work, make the best of it.

But don't you just LOVE the idea of time traveling? I wish I could! Where would you go and who do you want to meet? A question to be answered later! Take care AND READ THE BOOK!

1 Year Old

My sweet little Miss E! Yesterday was your first birthday! We hope you will have many, many, many more years ahead of you to celebrate! Hopefully we will be there to celebrate with you, cuz what a joy it is to be your mother/your parent. You are super sweet. We thought that your big sister Miss M. was open and calm and easy to handle, but you are even more easy going. We feel super super blessed. And what is great about having children: it makes everybody step into this energy of love and laughter and care which unites us all. I, as your mother, hope that you feel it too and that it will be part of you all your life. Like a battery that fuels you every time you need it.
Becoming a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me and I am so looking forward to the journey that lies ahead of all of us. Love you!

Torn between two...

To all the mothers out there...I have a question. Do you also have the experience of being torn between being a mother and loving it many, many times and (on the other hand) feeling a drive to do more (creative things, reading, meeting friends, getting another job, doing a year in coaching people). Honestly, I feel torn quiet often. I wonder why the feeling of restlessness is so hard to deal with.

I think part of it has to do with the fact that I have such a vivid imagination. I daydream a lot and in my dreams things mostly go smooth and easily. But everyday life is a lot more challenging in the sense that is calls for a more ' zen' / ' living the now' attitude. My coach pointed out to me that I have very high expectations for myself, so high, that almost always, there is only one result: failure. In the sense that I can never meet those expectations because they are unrealistic. One big lesson in life for me is learning to take small steps, to treasure them and enjoy them and not think to much about all the other things I would love to do and experience. A lot of small steps take me a long way.

Another thing that makes me restless is the fact that since I am a mother I became a lot more aware of the fact that I am mortal. This may sound serious or scary to some people, but it is in my awareness and is hard to ignore. It makes me realize that there are as many lives to be lived as there are people on this planet. We are all different and all one at the same time. We can't have it all. Not that I want to have it all, that's not it. Being aware of my mortality puts me on the ground with both my feet. Makes me feel humble. Makes me feel like we are all just a drop in the ocean. It makes me crazy, scared and gives me the feeling of: 'this is it'. And when I let it sink in a while and embrace all the feelings that are there, in the end almost alway I feel grateful I can say: thank you, it's ok, my life is good!

A while ago, I bought a book called Voluit Leven, it is a Dutch book on mindfulness and it is really good. It is all about saying YES to everything in life, the good, the bad and the ugly. Maybe I should do all the exercises more often, just to keep me grounded, to keep me feeling connected to the world and the people in it. One of the little steps in keeping myself connected is to call the people of the ZKM school that I want to participate in. I 'll keep you all informed. LOVE!

Favorite things Saturday

My friend Miss J. from the USA inspired me with her Favorite Things Friday. I love how she always comes up with original stuff and things I have never heard of or seen before.
Me, I haven't figured out how I can make such a nice collage like hers, but non the less I feel like making my favorite things Saturday.

1) HEMA Stationary
One of my favorite stores of all time has new stationary lines each year for the new school year. Every year it is such a treat to go there and buy some stuff (that I don't need at all) but that I love, Love, LOVE!


2) Toilet accessories
As some of you know we bought a house from 1926 that was last rebuilt in the early 70's. You know, green tiles, wood on every wall and lovely retro curtains.
Fun? Yes, at first sight! Not so much at second sight. For example: the only pipes that were attached to the sewer were the toilets (thanks for that), so we had a bit of wetness problem. Anyway, thanks to my fantastic husband and father in law, we now reached the point were all the plumbing is done and all the pipes and wires are fixed! On to the fun part, buying new stuff to decorate! What fun it is to look for stuff, to combine stuff, and to spend money! Let it roll!

3) Lovely kitchen fabrics
Another thing I love (besides the love for ceramics I inherited from my mother) are textiles. The Hema kitchen towels are pretty good, but I want to buy some specials ones as well. I love the birds from Ferm Living or the beautiful line Surya by Simrin.
But I also love these ones from Etsy:







From left to right:
AMS Industries
Giardino
Twiddle and Tweet
Red Wren Design

Well I can go on and on about all the beautiful stuff I've seen on Etsy, but I'll leave it for now. Time to go to bed and dream some more about decorating!