zaterdag 19 mei 2012

Guess where I have been?

Voluntarily? Not quiet! A good time? Yeah, kinda. We were invited to go to Eurodisney for a few days. Each time I told people I was going there, they got this look on there face, followed by the question: "Voluntarily? Cuz that is so not you!" They are right, I wouldn't have chosen this trip myself, but we had a good time with the whole family. My two girls in a hotel for the first time, having a buffet diner with tons of new food to taste. My oldest indulging in all the delicious french cheeses and me eating all you can eat Tarte au Citron, which is my all time favorite. Plus: lots of colours, lots of nice shapes, so lots of pictures were taken.

The trip did contrast with the book I read recently: Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that Just Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. This book is so Me! Every word and every sentence. What I learned from it is how being an introvert is just who I am, by birth. At least for about 50 percent. The brains of introverts and extraverts just work totally differently. Introverts react strongly to stimuli/incentives from the outside world, they soon have enough. They become a bit aloof perhaps. I always say it's like having a big meal...I need time to digest it. I need to digest all the impressions from the world that I get each day which takes up a lot of energy. I have been saying this, and even more so after my SCA, but the world seems to go a couple of steps too quickly. I hate saying this, it makes me feel insecure many times, as if there is something wrong with me, that I am not capable of dealing with the world as it is.

The book also talked about work a lot. About how you need (every now and then) to step out into you un-characteristic self, which is not bad as long as it is founded on a good set of beliefs that give you energy and focus. When reading that I realized it is time (let's say Time!) to look into my beliefs, my values, my fundament. It may seem natural to some, but I have not been in touch with my own fundament for a long time. Not working from my beliefs and having to step out of my introvert nature too often makes me feel a foreigner sometimes.

And I wondered: what if I had died that day? Did I have a good life till then? Or was there (are there) still some unfinished business to do? Am I proud of who I am? Are my actions and my beliefs in balance? Am I living the life that I would like to look back on when I am 85? If I am missing something, then what is it? There is not one awnser, but one is there for sure: I would like to connect more. With myself and others. I need to find a way to work with people on a way more personal level than what I am doing now. Will keep you updated.