So, inspired by Leo Babauta, I switched over to minimalize my mind and expectations. This is a hard one. Nothing easy. For me there is so much to learn in how I think of certain things. Like yesterday. I was really tired but also wanted to spend a good day with my two children. First we went to the market which was really busy. My youngest (2) is in her ‘me-do’ state and goes crazy when I (or her big sister) wants to help her out. (I hope this phase will pass soon!) We also needed to get some stuff from two different store before we went to the playground. Were my youngest wants to do what my oldest can, and is sometimes very frustrated! You get the picture right?
I am trying to be aware of the fact that getting stressed doesn’t help. Not me, not the kids, nobody. So when we came to the playground I decided to sit down at least five minutes and relax. Really put my feet on the ground, breathing consciously, letting go. Letting go of the expectation that the day has to be happy and fun and all. That it is not ok to start yelling at them, but that I also don’t have to be 180 degrees the opposite. That the day might turn out pretty average and that’s ok. I could feel things falling from my back. In the afternoon my oldest watched a movie, while I read a book and slept some. Again: it was a bit of a challenge to not feel guilty about it. (I should be crafting / playing a game with her OR doing the pile of laundry or preparing dinner)
I guess it will be a constant struggle, but one worth committing myself to.