donderdag 21 oktober 2010

Meeting my rescuer

A couple of days ago I met one of my rescuers. I had been told that two people did CPR on me, a man and a woman (B.). I met the woman this Tuesday evening.

I had thought a lot about the people who were there when it all happened. Because we live in a pretty small town I realized that we could all run into each other in the city center. One of the first days I spent by myself I went for a walk. This woman came up to me saying she was so glad I made it. I didn't recognize her, but it turned out she works in the hospital bringing food to all the patients. She had seen me for a few days and heard my story and was really impressed. It was really good to talk to her and to be able to get a fuller picture for myself.

The man (a volunteer fire fighter) who helped me told the police that he was alright with the situation and he didn't feel the need for further contact. The woman agreed to meet me right away. It was so good to see her. It wasn't emotional or anything, a little awkward perhaps, but really nice. She told me about how she had taken first aid classes for years, also because she works at a daycare. She was so grateful to have been able to use her knowledge. But she also knew only 9% of the people who get CPR this way make it alive. For her it was really important to see me, to know I am alright. Last week we passed each other biking, at exactly the place of my accident, but she didn't want to stop me then. And I didn't recognize her yet.
(Funny thing: for both of us it was the first time we biked by The place!)

The evening of my accident she was a little late when she left work. She jumped on her bike and passed me just a few minutes after I fell. A guy (E.J.) who was on the scene first knew her pretty well so they (and a few more people) were talking about what to do. She then noticed I stopped breathing and started doing CPR right away. Then the fire fighter came out of nowhere and, almost like a team of professionals, they all did what they had to do. How lucky can you get?!

B. and I talked about how strange it is to be brought together by something like this. She is my age. We could be friends. She saved my life! I tried to say thank you. She tried to say your welcome. But words couldn't express what we felt.

I realized that she was with me during a very intimate moment in my life. There are just very few moments like this. When things are (literally) naked. Touching the fundamental things in life. I felt like this when I gave birth. But being close to someone dying is also very intimate.
I remember when my grandfather was on his deathbed; we only talked about things that really matter in life. All the unnecessary words, feelings and emotions just withdrew.

I also realize that life goes on. I can't always think about the accident or about how lucky I have been or about how there have been angels all around me that day.
Today one of my best friends came over and we barely talked about the accident. We talked (during a fantastic lunch) about our children and the upcoming birth of her second girl. It was great! Slowly and step by step I am moving forward!

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