Look what we got...

Some of you know it, others are totally surprised, but we are one of those (very few) couples who don't own a car! WHAT? You are probably thinking? No Car? Two kids? A house that needs rebuilding all over, and I mean, ALL over? Are we insane? How do we live? Honestly, so many people see owning a car as one of the first needs in their lives. Which of course it isn't, well probably when you are living in the States or somewhere in the outback of Australia....I will agree with you...a car comes in handy.

But over here in Holland things are a bit different. You see, when we were studying we got a card for all public transport. Good stuff. Then we got a little apartment in a pretty central place in Amsterdam, which equals waiting for a parking permit for over a year and a half. Plus now, both our employers pay all the costs of public transport. Adding to that the fact that both of us didn't have a driverslicense and there you go: no car. Cheap! Very 'Green', very kinda 'highly educated-left thinking-environmentally friendly-alternative'. (Note: all opinions from a variety of people in society, not necessarily ours)

So embrace yourself: this weekend we bought our first CAR! Yes, you heard it right! You see, it is pretty cold to bike with two kids everywhere during winter. They also get pretty tall, so that's pretty heavy. Also, we are relying on other people to take us to IKEA for example. But most of all: we haven't had a proper vacation in years! And we both have such fond memories of all the time we spent during our chilhoods in France and Italy and Switzerland and Germany. That's what we want to carry over to our children. Packing our car and tent and just take off. Where the sun will take us. So look what we got...let's say cheers to lots and lots of happy vacations...

Hyundai I20: Ice Blue

Just some thoughts again on SCA

This morning I read the great blog Heart Stops from a fellow SCA survivor. It shows really well the paradox we/I are in. On the one hand I also feel a deep gratitude for being a survivor with hardly any brain damage. On the other hand being a survivor is also sometimes hard. Like last week, being at the beach, feeling the wind and the sun on my skin. It hits me hard to realize that I am not 'just standing there'. It feels like there are Capital Letters everywhere, shouting to me: YOU ARE STANDING ON THE BEACH!!! YOU!!! This is NOT to be taken For Granted!

It still feels like a lot of things are new in a way. Every 'first time' is something I am aware of. The first time on the beach, the first time I saw the leaves coming in spring, the first time I saw the same leaves falling in autumn. At those times I also realize that there will be a time that it will be my last spring, my last autumn. Hopefully I will be very old and grey and wise and with a certain resignation.

I sense a certain anger in my body...death knocked on my door!!! Why me? Why not me? Are life and death so arbitrary? THAT I find so shocking! If there is no higher plan, then what is there to sooth me, to embrace me, to comfort me? This is what I struggle with. It is like Irvin Yalom says: it is like staring at the sun with you eyes wide open. Pretty painful sometimes.

So that's the paradox I guess, I am alive, but by being so I can spend hours upon hours being aware... But I do want to thank Marty from Heart Stops, for also thinking about the not so lucky ones and sending condolences to all families who have to bury their loved ones.

Sure need one of these...

Lovely Etsy scarf; I can sure need one of these today, because I am home sick with a super sore throat and no voice left to talk with! Thank God my mom is here to watch my kids. She even picked up the vacuum cleaner and is ironing all the laundry. Me? I can jump back in my bed to get some extra hours of much needed rest. Thanks Mom!