Guess where I have been?

Voluntarily? Not quiet! A good time? Yeah, kinda. We were invited to go to Eurodisney for a few days. Each time I told people I was going there, they got this look on there face, followed by the question: "Voluntarily? Cuz that is so not you!" They are right, I wouldn't have chosen this trip myself, but we had a good time with the whole family. My two girls in a hotel for the first time, having a buffet diner with tons of new food to taste. My oldest indulging in all the delicious french cheeses and me eating all you can eat Tarte au Citron, which is my all time favorite. Plus: lots of colours, lots of nice shapes, so lots of pictures were taken.

The trip did contrast with the book I read recently: Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that Just Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. This book is so Me! Every word and every sentence. What I learned from it is how being an introvert is just who I am, by birth. At least for about 50 percent. The brains of introverts and extraverts just work totally differently. Introverts react strongly to stimuli/incentives from the outside world, they soon have enough. They become a bit aloof perhaps. I always say it's like having a big meal...I need time to digest it. I need to digest all the impressions from the world that I get each day which takes up a lot of energy. I have been saying this, and even more so after my SCA, but the world seems to go a couple of steps too quickly. I hate saying this, it makes me feel insecure many times, as if there is something wrong with me, that I am not capable of dealing with the world as it is.

The book also talked about work a lot. About how you need (every now and then) to step out into you un-characteristic self, which is not bad as long as it is founded on a good set of beliefs that give you energy and focus. When reading that I realized it is time (let's say Time!) to look into my beliefs, my values, my fundament. It may seem natural to some, but I have not been in touch with my own fundament for a long time. Not working from my beliefs and having to step out of my introvert nature too often makes me feel a foreigner sometimes.

And I wondered: what if I had died that day? Did I have a good life till then? Or was there (are there) still some unfinished business to do? Am I proud of who I am? Are my actions and my beliefs in balance? Am I living the life that I would like to look back on when I am 85? If I am missing something, then what is it? There is not one awnser, but one is there for sure: I would like to connect more. With myself and others. I need to find a way to work with people on a way more personal level than what I am doing now. Will keep you updated.



Introverts

Having a coffee with a dear friend at l'Oisive Thé in Paris

A while ago I came across the blog of The Road is life. I like the author’s writing and photographs a lot. A few days ago I was pleasantly surprised that she put up a link to an article from the New York Times: ‘Shyness: Evolutionary Tactic?’ by Susan Cain. She writes about shyness / introversion (I believe this to be two totally different things by the way). She states that society today does not appreciate introvert people enough, with their introvert qualities.”

“As a society, we prefer action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable and even smarter than slow ones. As the psychologists William Hart and Dolores Albarracin point out, phrases like “get active,” “get moving,” “do something” and similar calls to action surface repeatedly in recent books.”

I so recognize this. As an introvert myself (tested INFJ, by the Myers-Briggs indicator) I look with wonder at the world. Why do we all have to be ‘flexible or assertive or open to discussion and action’? Not that I am a grumpy lady who walks with her head down, lifting all the misery of the world on her back. I love interacting with people and with the world. I just like going to a cafe with one friend at a time, having tea or coffee more than being with a group of people getting drunk. (Charging a bit here, of course there are many 'in between' options)
I just wonder: “what is wrong with people who are more introvert, who think before they talk, who love reading books, silence, thinking about the meaning of life, who prefer to be alone often, who are perhaps a bit serious and who like to daydream with a cup of tea?” In other words: people like myself?

The older I become, the more confident I feel about being an introvert. Yes, I do not have many chit-chats with other mothers on the playground very often. Or have a large group of friends (but I do have some very close friends, for years!) And yes, sometimes this makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure. And yes, I sometimes force myself to step out more and have a conversation. (And yes, sometimes it works out fine and sometimes it doesn’t)
But I also try to be more gentle with myself and embrace who I am. A good compliment the other day at work (by a lovely, extremely extravert person) was: “I just love your calm and quiet nature, it always makes me feel so relaxed. You really know how to listen and make people comfortable!” Needless to say I cherished this comment.

So here is a shout out to all those lovely introvert people out there! We need everybody in the world! Let’s treasure all energies, loud and silent!

Paris!

Friend H. and I went to Paris. We walked, talked, ate, dreamed, laughed. It was awesome!

Paris: here I come!!!

Yeah, in May, friend H. and I are going to PARIS for a weekend!!!!! The city I love most!

Lots of sightseeing, lots of talking, lots of lovely drinks and good food, lots of sunshine hopefully, lots of photographing, lots of fun!