Favorite Friday Song - Madrugada - Shine

After all the bad news from Norway, I felt like sharing something very beautiful from the country with the fjords. Meet one of my favorites bands of all time: Madrugada. I love vocals, so when I heard Sivert Hoyem for the first time I was instantly hooked. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE his voice. Hope you like it too. I don't care what he sings, as long as he just sings. Next week, another one of my all time favorite vocalists...

Minimal Switch Update

Every week I still check out the Minimal Switch of the week. But these last weeks all the tips and tricks made me realize one thing: do I really need to minimalize? Why and how? All the challenges are no challenge for me. Like: get your TV out of your bedroom. (What TV?We don’t even have one!) Or have a Blanc-day: one day per year (!) without any appointments. I have Blanc-days several times a week! (Sometimes voluntary, sometimes not) Or take a Twitter & Facebook vacation. (Excuse me?) All of them: no challenge for me. Not that I am that minimal I guess. The subject still really interests me.

So, inspired by Leo Babauta, I switched over to minimalize my mind and expectations. This is a hard one. Nothing easy. For me there is so much to learn in how I think of certain things. Like yesterday. I was really tired but also wanted to spend a good day with my two children. First we went to the market which was really busy. My youngest (2) is in her ‘me-do’ state and goes crazy when I (or her big sister) wants to help her out. (I hope this phase will pass soon!) We also needed to get some stuff from two different store before we went to the playground. Were my youngest wants to do what my oldest can, and is sometimes very frustrated! You get the picture right?

I am trying to be aware of the fact that getting stressed doesn’t help. Not me, not the kids, nobody. So when we came to the playground I decided to sit down at least five minutes and relax. Really put my feet on the ground, breathing consciously, letting go. Letting go of the expectation that the day has to be happy and fun and all. That it is not ok to start yelling at them, but that I also don’t have to be 180 degrees the opposite. That the day might turn out pretty average and that’s ok. I could feel things falling from my back. In the afternoon my oldest watched a movie, while I read a book and slept some. Again: it was a bit of a challenge to not feel guilty about it. (I should be crafting / playing a game with her OR doing the pile of laundry or preparing dinner)

I guess it will be a constant struggle, but one worth committing myself to.

Favorite Friday Song: Air - All I Need

All over the internet I see people who have fun ‘themes’ on their blogs. Through these items they give readers a little insight in who they are and what they like. Many times I really like those items so from now on I will try to post my ‘Favorite Friday Song’.

To be honest, since I became a mom, music is a lot less important to me. Or…I guess I just don’t make a lot of time available for listening. But I really miss it! Everytime I put on a CD I am moved by how good music makes me feel. Recently I read somewhere that music has a very positive effect on the brain, just like doing sports. So let all the endorfines come to us and create some happiness for a little moment in our bussy lives.

The first song I wanted to share brings me back to 1998. That summer was awesome. Friend S. and I went on a trip to the USA. Going from Everett, to San Fransico, to Bakersfield, to Hollywood. We had such a great time, meeting so many cool people.
Starting off in Everett/Seattle with friend Miss J. We visited all the ‘grunge / Singles places and had a fantastic time! Seattle was magnificant; I could easily live there! Then off to San Fransico (could definitely live there!!!), meeting with Jean (Nuclear Rabbit) and going over to his place and to the rehearsal studio. We hit it off straight away. Meeting those guys was great, going to a show by Papa Roach (who got just turned down by a record company). Then the Greyhound bus took us to Bakersfield. We met with Juice (now partly Adema) and stayed with Tim and Dan.

That was probably the best night of the whole trip for me. Everything just completely flowed. Normally I can by quiet introvert, but this time even though there were many people there, I felt super confident. All my senses were open, we joked, laughed, flirted with those guys in a way that I had never experienced before. Loved it!

This song by Air, always reminds me of that vacation and of that night. The music, the video, the couple who is in it. It also takes me back to my youth, when I used to dream of living in the United States. Somewhere in California, with the sun, the free way of life. Sweet memories.

This is what she does

When I ask her to look at Mommy for a picture....Watching her is feeling the biggest amount of LOVE!

Introverts

Having a coffee with a dear friend at l'Oisive Thé in Paris

A while ago I came across the blog of The Road is life. I like the author’s writing and photographs a lot. A few days ago I was pleasantly surprised that she put up a link to an article from the New York Times: ‘Shyness: Evolutionary Tactic?’ by Susan Cain. She writes about shyness / introversion (I believe this to be two totally different things by the way). She states that society today does not appreciate introvert people enough, with their introvert qualities.”

“As a society, we prefer action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable and even smarter than slow ones. As the psychologists William Hart and Dolores Albarracin point out, phrases like “get active,” “get moving,” “do something” and similar calls to action surface repeatedly in recent books.”

I so recognize this. As an introvert myself (tested INFJ, by the Myers-Briggs indicator) I look with wonder at the world. Why do we all have to be ‘flexible or assertive or open to discussion and action’? Not that I am a grumpy lady who walks with her head down, lifting all the misery of the world on her back. I love interacting with people and with the world. I just like going to a cafe with one friend at a time, having tea or coffee more than being with a group of people getting drunk. (Charging a bit here, of course there are many 'in between' options)
I just wonder: “what is wrong with people who are more introvert, who think before they talk, who love reading books, silence, thinking about the meaning of life, who prefer to be alone often, who are perhaps a bit serious and who like to daydream with a cup of tea?” In other words: people like myself?

The older I become, the more confident I feel about being an introvert. Yes, I do not have many chit-chats with other mothers on the playground very often. Or have a large group of friends (but I do have some very close friends, for years!) And yes, sometimes this makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure. And yes, I sometimes force myself to step out more and have a conversation. (And yes, sometimes it works out fine and sometimes it doesn’t)
But I also try to be more gentle with myself and embrace who I am. A good compliment the other day at work (by a lovely, extremely extravert person) was: “I just love your calm and quiet nature, it always makes me feel so relaxed. You really know how to listen and make people comfortable!” Needless to say I cherished this comment.

So here is a shout out to all those lovely introvert people out there! We need everybody in the world! Let’s treasure all energies, loud and silent!

Where is the ocean?

Picture by Ashes and Snow

My dear friend Miss J. made a beautiful piece of art called: Keep it simple. I love it and it is someting so many of us can relate to. Simply because that is one of the ‘spirits of our age’ (het zit verankerd in onze tijdgeest). So it got me thinking again: what do I do to keep things simple?

I wrote about this before in reaction to the website Minimal Switch, which gives readers a weekly challenge. I did some of them, but many I can’t relate to. Simply because it is not a challenge for me. I do not own fancy phones, a television and I do not participate on Twitter and Facebook and all. So I can’t cut down on using those things.

But lowering expectations like Miss J. recommends is a very important way to simplify. Also read the entry by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. His suggestion: Take your expectations and toss them into the ocean. Have you ever tried? Lowering your expectations , observing all those little voices inside your head that constantly talk and judge and feed expectations? Man, it is hard. But practice makes perfect as they say….(Wait a minute! Perfect? Did I just say perfect? Aah! Were is that big timeless ocean? Anyone?)

I learned just a tiny, tiny bit that watching the clouds of words in my head go by, with everything in it: sunny weather, rain, storms, hurricanes and all, has made a huge difference in how I feel about dealing with all the balls I need to keep in the air one time or another. Just sitting and watching this ‘weather’ feeds my need for relaxation at times, it makes me realize I don’t have to react to all the impulses of the world. It is totally OK the way it is, right there and then at that moment.

And…that meal planning sounds pretty good…will give it a try soon!